REVIEW: universal hollywood’s halloween horror nights

SEPTEMBER 15, 2022

review: universal hollywood’s halloween horror nights

Within these gates, madness reigns. The first quest your soul must accomplish is to navigate through the vloggers who are wandering aimlessly with seemingly no focus or direction. YouTubers stand frozen in place within the abyss of neverending lines and misery, mumbling to themselves in a rush to get enough content to edit at least half an hour of footage for the next day’s ad revenue. They obliviously block the way of families who have spent a small fortune to enjoy some Halloween fun.

Visitors stop and start, trying to figure out how to navigate the park without a physical map. They spend hours in a cacophony of pain and boredom just to walk through predictable mazes creatively constrained by their intellectual property owners. Underneath the fire towers, scare actors run around aggressively like wasps defending their hive. Though trying their best, they have to repeat their movements thousands of times while enduring the punishment of 100 degree weather and groups of young men proving that they have “no fear”. This is a place filled with suffering and an overwhelming lack of order.

Once upon a time, John Lydon of the Sex Pistols starred in commercials for Country Life butter. This conflicting pairing was like using salt instead of sugar to sweeten a cup of coffee. Yet our tastebuds here, hungry for a taste of horror, weeped as we crept through a Halloween themed night where songs like “Save Your Tears” and “Starboy” by The Weeknd echoed throughout the park. A choice that proves that brand recognition trumps any common sense.

Universal has shown us once again that the true horror of HHN is not within its mazes, but rather is the experience of standing in exasperating lines and paying five dollars for a bottle of sodium water.

VC

September 15, 2022

Hauntsofla.com

#hhn #universalhhn #hhnhollywood #halloweenhorrornights #universal #halloween #haunt #hauntedmaze #hauntedhouse #hauntsofla